Art, social media and me
5.28PM.
I have Youtube open full screen on my second monitor, listening to a podcast episode hosted by Khe Hy from RadReads, featuring my friend Lawrence Yeo.
As I complete my work, I occasionally glance over at the monitor and note the two talk with alight and animated expressions. Khe and Lawrence are riffing off of creative talk and I realise how much I miss doing the same. It's been a while since I've bloomed creatively.
If I look back at my creative 'career' online, I can trace it back to 2010 or so - the year is vague but it marks the time I first hopped on instagram, back when the logo was still blue and swirly, back when getting 10 likes on a post was the eptiome of success.
Over the last 13 years, I've wobbled my way through a succession of social medias, whether it be Instagram, Twitter, Tiktok, and most recently, opening my YT account (at least, officially). Most of my life has been spent in my pursuit of myself, and my place within the creative community. That is to say, most of my life has been lived online, not much room left for what's happening outside of a screen.
But since 2022, I've transitioned into the era which has wholly engulfed my sense of self. Getting married marks the step into a space where I have to confront reality by living life outside of a screen (and more importantly, enjoy doing so). On the whole, my online, self-absorbed world takes a backseat.
Now that I've understood this transition in my timeline, it explains why I have stepped back from YT, and why I only post sporadically on this blog.
Nevertheless, the micro niche I've carved for myself always lingers in the back of my mind (as I suppose, it intends to). I still swing on the pendulum between creative fulfillment and insta-fame. It’s a weird mix of 'enjoying the game though you'd rather not', a feeling Khe describes in his episode.
But as Lawrence says in his recent interview with Convertkit:
“Whatever your mode of expression is now, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s going to be that in perpetuity.”
So, whilst I still have a tab open in the background for my online outlets, this is a public declaration of my pivoting focus. Life is not getting in the way of my online dreams, but rather, it is the way forward now. And in the same vein, this break is not one that will continue forever either. It's just time I broke the mindset that 'consistent publishing' is not equivalent to 'indefinite publishing".
As I mentioned in what I like to call my "hiatus" episode of YT, I'd like to spend the energy I channel into socials more into my own artistic exploration. It's a big mental challenge I'm going through now to differentiate making art for socials, vs for myself.
On the plus side, I've been sketching and journalling abundantly, not obsessing about documenting every second of it through filming or photos. It's been nice to make art without the worry of beautiful camera angles, or scripts running through the back of my mind.
Speaking of documentation, I have this habit of highlighting passages in my journal that I really like, yet never re-reading it again (despite knowing full well there would he some great blogposts in them!). I tend to view these as untapped potential that is going to waste - and yet perhaps their beauty lies in being undiscovered (for now). Who knows, maybe In another 10 years I'll feel the urge to uncover everything and publish it - but for now, I think I’ll go with the flow.
I'm curious, what's your relationship to social media and how does it affect your creativity? I'd love to hear about any alternative opinions. Feel free to email me, I'd love to know.
Noor